Kevin Spacey's Next Movie Sounds Great

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Kevin Spacey’s New Movie Sounds Great

Much has been made of all the formerly-canceled men making their comebacks in the Trump 2 era. Accused sex pest Brett Ratner, for instance, emigrated to Israel in 2023, then almost immediately upon Trump’s election, made a deal to direct a $40 million Melania documentary. Ratner is like a cockroach who is really good at toadying to super rich guys. Spacey, meanwhile, hasn’t quite managed to find his lane in the post-cancellation media environment (probably tougher to rebrand as an anti-woke guy when you’re a semi-out gay man with a history of criticizing Trump).

…Until now? Variety reports this week that a movie Spacey directed (not his debut, he directed Albino Alligator in 1997 and Beyond the Sea in 2004) will be premiering in Venice.

The movie?

“Holiguards Saga — The Portal of Force,” first announced by Variety earlier this year, is a supernatural action-thriller in which Spacey also stars alongside Dolph Lundgren (“Rocky IV,” The Expendables”), Tyrese Gibson (the “Fast & Furious” franchise, “Morbius”), Brianna Hildebrand (“Deadpool,” “Lucifer”), Disha Patani (“Kalki 2898 AD,” “Bharat”) and Eric Roberts (“Runaway Train,” “The Righteous Gemstones”).

Amazing. If you asked me who would get cast in a post-cancellation Kevin Spacey-directed sci-fi saga, Tyrese Gibson and Eric Roberts are probably the first names I would’ve thrown out. Dolph Lundgren, meanwhile, was pretty cagey about working with arch-conservative Kelsey Grammer when I interviewed him last year (“I’m not aware of his politics. I know they’re rebooting Frasier.”) but it seems like it’s becoming a pattern.

Anyway, let’s hear more about THE PORTAL OF FORCE.

“Holiguards Saga — The Portal of Force” is set against the backdrop of a near-future world fractured by hidden supernatural forces, where two ancient warrior factions — the Holiguards and the Statiguards — wage a secret war for control of humanity’s fate. Amid this conflict, a young woman discovers that she’s the daughter of two rival leaders and could end the conflict. Meanwhile, a Statiguard strategist prepares a catastrophic attack in Paris using a nuclear device and an army of mind-controlled civilians, channeling energy from a cosmic portal to awaken an ancient force known as the Prime. […]

The film is planned to be the first in a franchise.

Aw, of course it is. I can’t wait for the many sequels to the Holiguards Saga. (Sidenote, I feel like you can’t call something a “Saga” fresh out of the gate. We don’t know who you are, no one’s trying to hear a “saga!”

My sources tell me that whenever Kevin Spacey gets handsy with a co-star he tells them “You are now entering the portal of force.” (Parody, parody! Do NOT sue me!)

It also marks the first feature to be produced by Elledgy Media, owned by Portugal-based Ukrainian entrepreneur Elvira Gavrilova Paterson.

“Elledgy Media.” Holy hell, is that a portmanteau of “elegy” and “edgy?” That is quite an inspired name, especially for an enterprise that is definitely not an elaborate money-laundering scheme cooked up by a Portugual-based Ukrainian entrepreneur named Elvira.

The first Google, by the way, does not disappoint: “Elvira Paterson-Gavrilova on Bunkers for Tomorrow: Underground Real Estate as Plan A,” from The Jerusalem Post.

The Vanity Biopic Industry Continues Apace

I’ve written before about how the biopic has become more a benchmark of fame for its subjects than a movie genre. It’s like a celebrity rite of passage. And If you thought image-management exercises disguised as movies from sports and music figures (King Richard, Rocketman, One Love, etc) were bad, check out the fake ones, like Nyad and Flamin’ Hot.

On that note, a trailer recently dropped for Swiped, starring Lily James as Whitney Wolfe! Who the hell is Whitney Wolfe, you ask? Why, she’s the famous founder of Bumble, of course. She came up with the billion-dollar idea, “What if Tinder, but women had to message first?”

“Swiped” introduces recent college grad Whitney Wolfe Herd, played by Lily James, as she uses grit and ingenuity to break into the male-dominated tech industry and launch an innovative, globally lauded dating app. The film will follow the rise of the online dating platform Bumble, and Wolfe’s journey to becoming the youngest female self-made billionaire. “Swiped” will touch on Wolfe’s time at Tinder as a co-founder, and the moments leading up to Bumble going public in 2021. [Variety]

I feel like you should have to be famous for longer than four years before you get a biopic about you, but that’s just me.

Vanity Fair and the Chicago Tribune Both Laid Off Their Film Critics

The names Richard Lawson and Michael Phillips are familiar to pretty much anyone in the movie world. In the past two weeks, Lawson got laid off from Vanity Fair (along with David Canfield, Anthony Breznican and Michael Calderone) as part of a “new direction” from a new editorial boss. Barely a week later, Phillips took an (essentially forced) buyout from the Chicago Tribune, who are eliminating their film critic position.

Funny how these “new editorial directions” never seem to involve keeping good writers or more non-glossy, non-access-based jobs for writers with integrity. It’s not as if people stopped reading movie reviews. It’s more part of a vibes-based push from management, who understand that being anything but a celebs-and-brands cheerleader doesn’t look as good to the salespeople these days. “Authenticity is expensive,” to quote Tina Fey.

Not much to say here other than “that sucks,” and “I’ve been there.” A buyout sounds nice. Way cooler than 10 weeks of severance pay. Anyway, this is why real criticism has paywalls now. Trust me, we don’t like it any more than you do.

This Week In Movie Posters

Welcome to the This Week In Movie Posters, the feature in which we go through all the week’s new movie posters and read way too much into them. All posters via IMPA.

This week’s crop of posters is full of stuff that sounds like things I actually want to see. I was trying to figure out how that happened and then I realize that it’s almost awards season, when all the studios pack their couple movies aimed at adults who might’ve read a book into the last 8-12 weeks of the year.

This Week In Movie Posters is coming in hot this week with Marty Supreme, from the now-separated Safdie brothers (this one is from Josh, while Benny is directing The Smashing Machine, with The Rock). As you may or may not be able to see from that tiny guy inside the A, it stars Timothee Chalamet (actual size). I accidently typed “Timothee Chalamelt” there, which would make a great item for the Wendy’s Marty Supreme tie-in menu (also applicable: the Marty Supreme).

Anyway, cool poster. Very Brutalist-esque (don’t ask what it’s about! it’s “monumental!”).

Also, there’s a trailer:

So… yeah, a Safdie Brother period piece about ping pong starring Timothee Chalamet, including The Nanny, the director of Bad Lieutenant, and a guy from Shark Tank in supporting roles. Abso-fuckin-lutely, man, I’m there.